Reunion
by cantwebeseventeen
Summary: At the reunion of 2018 at MacLaren's (Part II of Finale), Barney waits for his friends and tries to cope with the imminent absence of the fifth member of The Gang: Robin. (One Shot)


**Hi guys! This is from the first few minutes of Part II of the Finale, and a little bit before. I do not own any How I Met Your Mother characters. Hope you enjoy and tell me what you think!**

Reunion

Barney waited in the bar for a good hour and a half before the gang showed up. He was utterly exhausted. He continued to to wait anxiously. Why was he so anxious? They were only his friends. His best friends that he hadn't seen in three years. He downed his second glass of Glen McKenna and straightened his tie. Would they just come already? Too much to drink always made him antsy.

For the last year and a half, Barney returned to his old ways... and he returned hard. He had been sleeping with bimbo after bimbo on what seemed to be a non-stop loop. He visited strip clubs on a much more regular basis now, almost every day. He got drunk about every night, and was just now getting over the mind-numbing hangover he received that morning, while topping it off with more alcohol. Not a wise choice, he knew, but he needed the distraction. His brain begged him to go home and sleep, but he wouldn't miss a single second with what was left of his beloved gang. He hadn't seen Marshall and Lily since the Halloween party in 2016, and Ted… well Ted hasn't been in touch since the babies started rolling in. And well... Robin. Barney pinched the bridge of his nose at the thought and sighed.

Long story short, Barney was alone. And this was his first night back with his best and only friends, and he wasn't going to miss a moment of it. So there he sat.

Lily came in first. She looked much older, but then again, so did Barney, he guessed.

"Lily Aldrin!" Barney said admiring his friend as he frantically jumped from the booth, arms extended to greet Lily.

"Oh Barney!" yelled Lily as she greeted him with a long awaited hug. The abrasive contact made Barney's headache pang, and he winced a bit… but it was worth it.

"My god Lily" he started, "you look old" said Barney as he settled in his seat across from the redhead. He could always be frank with her.

"I know. Kids do that to you" she said with a knowing smile. Barney gave a quick grin. He would never know _that_ feeling.

"Where's Marshall?" he asked, now noticing the empty space next to Lily.

"He's still at work, but he will be here as soon as he can" she said, checking her phone.

"Wow. Three years. It didn't seem like we would ever have to wait this long to see each other again" said Barney, looking at the door, waiting to see Ted.

"Yeah well life gets in the way I guess." she said, noticing his averted eyes. "I've missed you, Barney" she said putting her hand on his and squeezing it tightly. Barney took a quick glance down her blouse. "Somehow" she said rolling her eyes and pulling her hand away from the perverted child. Barney felt another pang in his head. He grabbed the glass he had been drinking and put it to his lips, only to reveal he had finished it. In an attempt to shut up his headache, he dragged his palms on his face roughly to massage the pain.

"Hey Barney, you okay?" asked Lily, noticing his distress.

"What- yeah, yeah, no I guess I just need…" he didn't want to appear weak, not on a night like this, "a drink! Yes! Drinks!" he exclaimed trying to draw attention away from his apparent mishap. He waved to the bartender. "Glen McKenna, neat" he said in a rush. His third in the last half hour. "And for you Lily dearest?" he asked quickly chuckling.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa wait Barney, hold on…you look troubled. And I know that flinching face" she said looking him up and down. She waved Carl away. If she was going to dissect Barney, she needed to be sober... at least for most of it. "You're hung-over" she said, pleased with herself, yet toubled to see her friend's features suddenly drop in embarrassment. He perked up immediately, catching himself.

"Pffft. No. It's almost 5 why would I be hung-over at this" Barney was interrupted by a small, but louder than normal "Hey!" from Lily that sent his headache raging. "AGHGHGH stop screeching like an owl!" he screamed as he held his ears and waved his hands to shoo her away. She was hunched over the table, determined to catch him off guard. Finally, his drink arrived. He downed the glass. He needed to be drunk tonight if he was going to make it without thinking too much.

"I would barely consider that a holler, Barney" Lily said, edging herself closer to him. As Barney looked down shamefully, Lily noticed his dark circles under his eyes, and his paler than usual complexion. "What's going on?" she asked. Lily knew everything about him. Barney trusted Lily with all of this mushy stuff he did such a good job at hiding, most of the time. If anybody could understand, it would be her. He looked up at her curious eyes. He guessed he could tell her. Here it goes.

"Hey guys!" yelled a familiar voice. Ted walked in the bar. Barney's soul turned off and his mind switched over to the womanizing scoundrel the gang knew and loved... well, knew and tolerated. God did Barney miss Ted. As much of an annoying stuck up, know-it-all Ted was, he was still Barney's brother, and here he was. "Oh my god TED!" rang out Barney as he jumped once again from the booth. His head screamed in pain but he didn't care. "Barney!" yelled out Ted as he ran to his bro. They hugged each other tightly and barney raised his hand up. "Reunion-five!" he exclaimed. The two high fived, walked away from each other, and ran back for an even more epic high five.

"God I missed you, buddy" said Ted, patting Barney on the shoulder.

"Missed you too, Ted" said Barney to his best bro.

"Hey Lily" said Ted, casually. Wow. Ted didn't seem too ecstatic to see Lily. Barney truly must have been Ted's best friend. Sorry, Marshall.

"Hey Teddy Westside" said Lily, as Ted settled next to Barney. Lily didn't seem to be too excited either. What's going on? Barney knew he was awesome, but come on, they hadn't seen each other in years.

"No big reunion moment? I mean I know the reunion-five was hard to beat but I mean, at least put in a little effort" said Barney scoffing.

"Well, it isn't really much of a reunion for us, Barney" said Ted, feeling a little sorry for his friend.

"We've been catching up" said Lily, unaware that Barney hadn't known.

"Oh" said Barney, still acting optimistic, yet a little deflated. So everybody's hanging out expect for him, then. "For, uhh, for how long?" he tried to ask optimistically, though struggling not to sound like a sick puppy.

"Well, I guess the last time we caught up was a month ago? Was it?" said Lily, looking at Ted to confirm.

"Yup, for Tracy's birthday" he said, remembering the celebration.

"Wow" said Barney. Now he definitely looked sad. And they noticed. And Barney noticed that they noticed. He had to perk up.

"But this IS a reunion of The Gang itself, as a unit! So it is very much a celebration!" Barney said, trying to bring triumph back into his tone.

"But wait, where is Marshall?" asked Ted.

"Marshall's almost here" said Lily, once again checking her phone.

"YES! Look at us! Hanging out again. This is amazing! This is AWESOME! This is…." Barney was at a loss for words. How could they have reunited already? Without him? He hadn't seen his best friends in three years, and here they are, acting like tonight was nothing special. Well it was. He had been waiting for tonight for the longest time and it is going to be, "GAHHH!" was the only thing that spewed from his mouth. He tussled Ted and smiled ecstatically trying to hide the betrayal in his face.

"Okay… settle down, buddy" said Ted, acknowledging the fact that Barney was clearly drunk.

"No! Settling down is for losers with kids who never go out anymore" God how Barney wished he was one of them. What has the last three years been like for him? He was a loser with no kids who went out all day and got drunk and slept with idiots. That was the last three years. He thought he had given up on that life when he married Robin, but now that she is gone, something's got to give. If Robin and he had stayed together, than he would be one of them. Maybe not with kids, but at least he wouldn't be alone. But now he is. He wasn't going to be able to get over losing the love of his life that easily, and he had to cope the only way he knew how… and he wasn't proud of it.

"I am in charge tonight, and the earliest I am allowing anybody to go home is 2 AM." He wanted tonight to last. As long as he was with his friends, he wasn't left to his thoughts, and that was always good.

"10 PM" shot Lily.

"9:45" shot Ted. Ugh, come on.

"3 AM" he shouted a little too strongly. The two looked at him oddly, especially Lily. He had to say something.

"Guys, tonight is gonna be legen- wait for it…" Old reliable. He hadn't said it in a long time. He missed those days. The days when every night was legendary and every adventure was new and exciting... an with his friends. Like his internal motto, whatever he did, it wasn't legendary unless his friends were there to see it. Ted and Lily both rolled their eyes at the long pause.

"If I leave now, I can put the kids to bed" said Ted. God he sounded so old. What happened to spontaneous Ted? The Ted Barney knew?

"I'll get the check" said Lily.

"Dary! Legendary!" they didn't look convinced. "Guys, the Gang is back! We're back!" and yet, they weren't. Yes, Marshall was on his way, but The Gang was still incomplete. And Barney knew that. And once he said those words he knew he had been mistaken. He tried to cover up this mistake with something. "GAHHHH!" he shouted again. Again? He felt like an idiot.

Lily had been observing Barney. He never did tell her what was wrong, and she knew he wouldn't get all mushy with Ted around. But behind all the 'excitement' Barney was displaying, he looked like he was forcing it. He seemed a little empty. Well, a little empty was Barney on a regular day, but this, this was different. He was trying to compensate for something. He was trying not to think about something. "_Or someone" _thought Lily.

"Well, all of us except for Robin" Lily, responded, still looking at Barney. Immediately, he slouched. He looked deep into his glass, which had been refilled, and scrunched his eyes tightly. That was it. She knew.

"_Really? Bring up Robin?_" he thought as he looked at his refilled glass. He was trying his absolute hardest to get through the night without thinking of her, and his plan had just imploded. He glanced at the door, and saw a beautiful brunette walk in. Barney blinked and shot up a bit. It wasn't her. But how he wished it was. She could be here with them, but for the same reason he statically signed the divorce papers, her career pushed everything away.

"We never see her anymore" continued Lily. Oh God. Barney knew a long speech from Lily was coming, and along with it, feelings, something he did NOT need right now. God, he missed Robin so much. But he had to stop this. Not now. Not on reunion day.

"Okay" he interrupted, "in addition to you guys not going home before 4 AM, yes it's up to 4 now, new rule, any time someone talks about something sad, we stay out an extra hour." That should stop Lily. And yet, she persisted. She was testing Barney, he HAD to talk about this and face his problems.

"We said we'd always be there for the big moments" she said, looking straight at him.

He winced as his headache flared up again.

"5 AM" he said flatly. He stared at Lily accusingly.

"To be fair," interjected Ted, who broke the stare-off between the two, "tonight's just us hanging out till 10 PM tops." Barney slumped his head to the table. He needed another drink. "It's not a big moment."

Not a big moment? Well maybe for Ted it wasn't but for Barney, this was the first time in years that he wasn't at a strip club, drunk off his ass, trying to drink and sex away his feelings. This was the first time in three years he was at McLaren's, because it was too depressing to go alone. This was the first time in three years that he saw his best bro, his closes confidant, and soon, his slap bet buddy. But to the three of them, this was nothing more than a routine check-up.

"Ummm, yes it is" said Barney, hoping Ted would get it.

"Ummm, not it's not" said Ted, lackadaisically.

"Ummm, yes it is" Barney pressed. He didn't get it.

"Ummm, no it's not" said Ted, once again, not understanding Barney

"Ummm, yes it is." It was Marshall who answered. The three looked to see there friend had arrived. Finally someone understood. But that wasn't why. And once he found out, Barney was incredibly happy to be talking about something other than, well, the absence of Robin.

Excuse for drinks. The gang ordered rounds of champagne and Barney drank it, all of it, and surprisingly it helped, at least temporarily. He was happy for his friends and their success, and he was glad to be part of the gang again. But Lily looked right through him. She knew something was wrong, and if she wasn't going to see Barney in another three years she had to find out. Even through the laughing and the friends who he thought would numb the pain, he missed Robin, and Lily knew that. And as he saw the brunette he spotted earlier walk past the booth, Barney saw an opportunity to _not _miss her... and he lunged at it.

And before he could even think of a pick-up line, his larynx was already being shanked backwards towards Lily, who in her infinite wisdom, knew exactly what he was doing. Distracting.

"Dammit, Barney" she said with eyes that seemed to be screaming.

"Crushing… windpipe" screeched Barney, gasping for air as he watched the brunette sit down and order a drink.

"You're lucky that's the only pipe I'm crushing" she said threatening him with another tug. "That woman is half your age! Haven't you changed even a little?"

This was ridiculous. He was a grown man. He could make his own decisions. Even though he promised himself he wouldn't, he just wanted to get on that brunette and make Robin go away, if only for a few hours. He thought hanging out with the gang again could do that, but all it did was make things worse. They brought up Robin at every corner, and Barney couldn't take it any more.

"No I haven't" he said, as if they should already know. There was a long pause. Every since he and Robin got engaged, Barney had always proclaimed he was a changed man, that he was different, that he grew up for her. But now that he went back on his promise, the gang realized the harsh truth… that without Robin, Barney was just the shallow man he was before. Barney had changed, they all saw it, even Barney did, but Robin was gone, and there was nothing holding him back.

"Look, I know there was a time when it seemed like I was capable of going the distance but…" Barney looked at Lily. He was leading up to what Lily had been waiting for all night. She wanted so badly to fix Barney, but what he needed her to know, was that she couldn't. Nothing could fix him. He was now, eternally broken. He sighed. "if it wasn't going to happen with Robin," hearing himself say out loud the thoughts that had haunted him since 2016 made his headache return and his stomach drop, "then it's just not going to happen with anyone."

Wow. He had said it. And the gang, as much as they all knew it was true, was shocked. They had always blindly hoped that Barney would see the light, even after his divorce. He had tried, and tried so hard, but failed. And knowing Barney, he wasn't going to put himself through that torment again.

"I'm never going to be a guy who meets a girl and from the first time I see her I'm just like," to prove a point he grabbed yet another brunette and held her shoulders. God, every brunette looked like Robin. "You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours forever" he said to the girl. As sarcastic as he sounded, there was a hint of truth in it. That's who Robin was to him, and everybody knew it. He once was that guy. And yet, silence.

"Really?" she asked stupidly. "No I'm just making a point, move along" said Barney, sitting back down. "That's not me." At least he didn't think it was. It used to be. For a brief period in time it was, and he actually liked it. But he can't be that way again. Never again. Too risky. "I'm the guy who straightens his tie, says something dirty, high fives himself, and goes and talks to that girl over there. That's me. Can I please just… be me?" he asked limply.

The whole gang was silent. Barney looked pleading into Lily's eyes. She understood why Barney was so distraught, but bimbos weren't the answer. They never were. She always used to say that Barney's whole life was a cry for help, and yet did she help him? Now that Barney needed her help, was she going to abandon him. He obviously needed something to remind him of who he was, to get him back in his groove, and although it's not the healthiest way to cope with loss, she understood his need. This was who he was, no matter how many changes he went through for Robin. Barney was Barney.

"Judge Fudge?" Lily asked, giving the last bit of decision to Marshall, a small portion of her hoping he might say no.

"I'll allow it" said the Judge. And the decision was made. Barney smiled wide. An out. Thank God. And he continued the night in his usual way. And as he left the bar with the hot brunette, the gang watched in silence as their friend left the reunion.


End file.
